Killer Heels

At the “Killer Heels: The Art of the High-Heeled Shoes” exhibition at the Brooklyn Museum of Arts (until March 1), one item is accompanied by a quote from an 18-century Dutch comparative anatomist Peter Camper (1722-1789):

"The wealthy women walk... by reason of the height of their heels, on the fore-ends of their feet, and consequently, very badly; they walk... like the majority of quadrupeds - on their toes only."

(Dissertation on the Best Form of the Shoe, 1781)

Yeah baby! Finally someone said the truth!

In this jungle of killer heels, there is no shortage of lethal weapons. Who ends up being the victim – the wearer, the wearer’s opponent, an innocent bystander, or the designer – is another question, but there is certainly enough destructive power to dispatch them all packed in those few exhibition halls. The shoes on display push every single one of the few envelopes that shoes can push – heel too high, platform too thick, no heel at all, strange materials, weird shapes, unwearable designs, fetish looks.

Zaha Hadid x United Nude, Nova (2013)

Right: Finsk, Project 3 (2010)
Left: Atalanta Weller, The Big Shoes (2008)

Chanel, Light Bulb Heel (2008)

JANTAMINIAU, L’Image Tranquille (2013)
Handcrafted by René van den Bezrg

Left: threeASFOUR, 3D Printed Wedge (2013)
Right: Iris van Herpen x United Nude, Beyond Wilderness (2013)

Right: Nicholas Kirkwood, Swirl Wedge (2013)
Left: Victoria Spruce, Twister Wedge (2012) - 3D printed plastic

But this over-the-top weirdness soon ceases to surprise and shock and quickly becomes boring and ineffective, which is true for most of the shoes made after the 1950s. What is lacking is simply beautiful shoes, like these Salvatore Ferragamo pumps from Marilyn Monroe’s closet – this never grows old:

Marilyn Monroe's black pumps
by Salvatore Ferragamo, 1959

Now, why these shoes are placed so far away from the glass and are not fully projecting against the white background, I cannot explain, like many other things about how this exhibition is curated. Most of the shoes are displayed in low glass cases positioned at the hip level, so you can see well only if you are a 10-year-old kid. Many cases have black surface and lights in the rooms are kept very low. Some of the exhibit labels are back lit, which creates weird reflections. And some of these shoes stare right back at you.

Louboutin, Deja vu (FW 2011-12)

Aperlai, Pico Hands (FW 2013-14)

Ferragamo was not always well-behaved and classic: his "invisible" sandals are made of fishing line.

Right: Ferragamo, Invisible Sandal (1947)
Left: Tamar Areshidze, Walking on Water (2012)

Another Aperlai shoe is called Geisha Lines and is in fact quite attractive, but sports a 14-cm heel.

Aperlai, Geisha Lines (FW 2013-14)

Another handsome red pair comes from Miu Miu:

Miu Miu, Ortensia and Oro Platform Lace-Up Heel (SS 2008)

Perhaps my favorite, from both aesthetic and engineering point of view, was this teal suede bootie with an ingenious titanium heel.

Right: Kerrie Luft, Thandie (2013)
Left: Prada, Sandal in Cipria and Cordovan (2008)

The teal shoe reminded me of the monument to tsar Nicholas I in St. Petersburg, an engineering marvel teetering on only two support points - the horse's two hind hooves - held in place by metal shanks going through the entire pedestal and a large quantity of lead shot placed inside the horse's hindquarters. A similar feat had been accomplished few years earlier (1852) by American sculptor Clark Mills, who created a statue of Andrew Jackson (in front of the White House) on a rearing horse.

Peter Clodt, Monument to Nicholas I (1859)
St. Isaac Square, St. Petersburg, Russia
19 c. print from Wikipedia

Staying on the subject of hooves, 'Life is getting horsier and horsier' ("Лошадеет жизнь, лошадеет"), once complained a sophisticated criminal dame in Stanislav Rodionov's 1981 detective novel Long Case. These shoes below suggest that she had a point.

Iris Schieferstein, Horse Shoes 3 (2006)

Louboutin, Puck (FW 2011-12)

Masaya Kushino, Chimera (2011)
Yes, it's a fox tail.
Yes, these are black shoes displayed against black background...

This handsome pair takes the hooves, the hide, and the horns from some unfortunate mythical creature - or rather two of them, since it is said to be a unicorn.

Walter Steiger, Unicorn Tayss (2013)

But hooves, tails, and horns are certainly better appendages to borrow than our own feet, as this Magritte-inspired pair suggests:

Céline, Trompe l'oeil Pumps (2013)

Among the grotesque and the unwearable, Vivienne Westwood's monster nine-inch platforms are probably the most fun - though not for those who have to walk the runway in them.

Vivienne Westwood, Super Elevated Gillies (1993)

The photo shows Naomi Campbell falling while
wearing these shoes at Anglomania runway show

The trio below was my favorite among the more down-to-earth styles - and the Koolhaas shoe has once made my day when a colleague wore it to work, paired with an ultraconservative business dress. 

Left: Maison Martin Margiela, Suspended Demi-Pointe Heel (SS 2014)
Center: Rem D. Koolhaas x United Nude, Eamz (2004)
Right: Victor, Platform Shoe (ca. 1940)

Continuing the theme of practicality, this shoe may be useful in a variety of life situations, from needing to slice a loaf of bread to aerating a lawn newly seeded with the help of the Nanohana Heels to having a chat with a mortal enemy:

Chau Har Lee, Blade Heel (2010)

When all is said and done, it may be time for sweet little nothings...

Left: Georgina Goodman, Lena "The Love Shoe" (SS 2011)
Right: Nicholas Kirkwood, Swarovski crystal pumps (2013)
Center: Marabou Mules (1950-59), belonged to Joan Fontaine

Jean Paul Gaultier, Nude Tattoo Boots (SS 2012)

Brian Atwood, Sigrid (SS 2013)

...and for "happily ever after" with glass slippers:

Left: Maison Martin Margiela, Glass Slippers (SS 2009)
Right: Georgina Goodman, The Glass Shoe (2014)